Grief: Denial and Isolation

Grief is a complex emotion that we tend to deal with on a daily basis, whether we recognize it or not.  As we move through life and the changes life brings we are in a constant state of reassessing and letting things go in order to move forward into something new.  What we don’t always realize that within these shifts and changes we are dealing with grief emotions in our release process.  It can be just as hard to let go of something as small as a child hood toy that we have hung onto as it is to let go and walk away from a major relationship in our lives. 

The first stage of grief is called denial and isolation.  Within this stage in the grief process we often don’t realize that what we are feeling is a form a grief.  As well this first stage can begin even before we have experienced a loss.  For example, when we have a loved one with a major illness and are at a point when it looks as though their journey here may be ending, we will often start to feel denial and isolation.  We don’t want to acknowledge that their health is failing to a greater degree and we definitely don’t want to give voice and talk about what is happening, in fear we may create it.  The same feelings may arise when you are in a relationship and are possibly struggling to “make it work”.  You are working so hard to find compromise, but are finding it harder and harder to connect and have open communication with your partner.  So instead you pull back, isolate yourself while desperately trying to hold on and deny that it may not work out.  In some cases you may just bury your head in the sand and move forward telling yourself that nothing is wrong, all the while ignoring the feelings that are telling you that something has to change. 

Ignoring or denying what you are feeling is ignoring your intuition and at times what your heart is telling you.  And please believe me when I say that those feelings are only going to get louder and more pronounced the more you ignore and deny them.  The universe also likes to give a little nudges when it is time to change or move forward with a situation or person and when we ignore these nudges, well, eventually we will get what I like to call the brick! 

I have definitely experienced this in my own life and I think the best example I can give you is when I ignored the nudges to move out of my father’s house.  I had originally moved in to help him as my mother had just passed away and I knew in my heart it was time for me to move on.  Then he started having health issues and had to give up his driver’s licence.  I felt like I couldn’t leave, even though it would have been the best thing for both of us and our individual growth, so I stayed.  Then the flooding happened in Alberta and I ended up losing almost everything I owned and was forced to find a new place to live.  Now don’t get me wrong here, I don’t believe the universe sent a huge natural disaster just to get little old me to move forward, but I do feel that was the brick I needed to finally get me moving.  You see I was in denial about what I needed to do for me and what was really best for my father, and to be honest I’m not much of an isolator but I was isolating myself by staying in the small town with my dad instead of listening to my heart and intuition. 

So instead of waiting for the brick to take you on a rollercoaster of a lesson, listen up, what is your heart and intuition telling you?  If you are unsure, talk with someone about what you are feeling.  If you don’t want to talk with friends or family, because you feel you may burden them with your issues, or maybe you have talked with them about this before and don’t want to feel like a broken record, then I recommend coming in for a reiki session.  We can talk about what you are feeling; the events that are happening in your life and come up with tools to help you navigate the challenges and create the change you would like to see.  You will also receive support in the emotions that surface from the loss you may be feeling these changes are creating. 

As well we will work with your chakra system (the 7 major energy centers in the body) to create an energetic balance within you.  We will focus on the root chakra to help you feel more secure and stable, which will help you in making decisions and dealing with some of the strong emotions that are surfacing.  When you are balanced energetically, it gives you a strong place to grieve from and allows you to let the emotions flow without being bogged down by them.  Some tools I greatly recommend when dealing with the first stage of grief is to write and journal.  This allows you to get what you are feeling out on paper and may help you make sense of the emotions.  It can also help you to find out where they are coming from, the root cause, so to speak.  This will bring clarity to you within the stress of what you are going through and dealing with.  Within that writing I also recommend, writing about what you are grateful for in your life right now, this will help you to see the shining star or light at the end of the tunnel for this too shall pass.

 

For more information about Nicole and the services she offers please check out her website at www.intuitivebalance.ca