Balance... How exactly does that work again??

As I sit in this incredibly beautiful setting with the water in front of me, the sun shining and a light breeze playing in the nature of the day, I still have to wonder... where in the world did my balance go?

Did I ever really have it to begin with?? 

I have noticed that I seem to be a creature of extremes.  Growing up I was your average child of the 80’s with middle class parents who provided me and my brother with everything we could ever need.  Is this what perpetuated the cycle of instant gratification that my generation has become so dependent on? 

As a teenager I bought into the “grunge” movement and embraced a false depression that I think all teenagers play with while their brain attempts to re-wire itself.  I chose to deal with this by turning to marijuana and I fell deep into that pool of numbness so I could wade through life with no responsibility, just like I was able to coast as a child.

I woke up at 27, never really having grown or taken much responsibility for my life or what I wanted in the future... My first step upon waking was to leave my marriage and the world exploded with possibility.

So for the last 5 years I have been trying to find my balance in life while stepping into my power and onto my life path.  I left my corporate job; I went back to school and developed my natural gifts.  Now I work my dream job as an intuitive healer and artist, yet I am still struggling for balance.  I still live my life in extremes and boy do I love a good distraction. 

I talk a great talk to myself and to be honest my clients.  I channel great advice for balance from spirit for those who come to see me, yet I still cannot seem to step into and use that advice for myself. 

Oh I know that it would benefit me greatly to meditate daily, exercise regularly, and eat in a cleaner more health conscious manner.  I have days where I am determined to make changes the very next day.  Then that day comes and another distraction happens or my schedule gets in the way.

I have noticed that this is a pattern that other healers struggle with as well.  We are so busy making sure we are there for our clients that we disregard and “forget” about ourselves.  So how do we create the change that brings balance?

I think part of it is letting go of the expectation that it will all happen at once, as well as allowing ourselves to shift into that space of balance at our own pace.  No more being hard on myself if I just can’t bring myself to do yoga one morning, or if I really just want that chocolate cake.  But in saying this there does also have to be a conscious sense of moderation.  Maybe I want that treat but I don’t really need to have it every day. 

Also listening to what your body wants and needs, being aware of what will make me feel good and what is making me feel kinda crappy is a great step in the right direction.  So in the name of balance I plan (and I use this term loosely) to listen and make time for what my body, mind, emotions and spirit is asking for.  As well as listening when they speak up and tell me that what I just did, did not really serve me at all. 

Maybe this is all I can do in the name of balance right now, but I feel it is a step in the right direction.  But hey these are just one girls thoughts... you make up your own mind J

If you would like more information about the Intuitive, healing and artistic services offered by Nicole please check out the website at www.intuitivebalance.ca

Windows to the soul or reflections of self...

The other day I was talking with a good friend of mine while driving from High River into Calgary (on hands free of course, safety first) and I had a HUGE realization...

Those of you who have read past posts will note that I have jumped back on the dating band wagon recently and was having some frustration with it, well, as my friend and I were talking a very interesting thought came into my head... basically it was:

In my past relationships I had fallen so very hard, not because I had found that ultimate romantic love, it would seem, but because when I peered into my partners eyes I saw their divinity looking back at me.  Divinity being pure love, how could I not respond with a deep love of my own... 

Over time, on some level, I would realize that this is what I was seeing and after myself and my partner had shifted each other and fulfilled that ever loving contract we set out to complete with each other in this life, it was time to move on.  At this point I was always left with one question... was that really love?  Was that really what a romantic connection, and unconditional love really felt like?

Obviously if I am asking this question than no it probably isn't, so what have I been responding to and "falling" in love with all this time. 

The realization I had while driving that day was that I was responding to and falling in love with the utter beauty and divine light of that persons soul as it was shining through in their eyes and as well I was falling in love with myself as the divinity of my soul was also being reflected back at me through their eyes.  Not in how they saw or perceived me but in the beauty of their soul I could not help but see the beauty in mine.  (Always comes back to us all being one doesn't it... lol)

Once again it was a perception changing thought and it has completely changed how I view relationships and love.  I can't help but see the divine being or soul of everyone now when I look into their eyes and I ultimately feel a deep connection and love with and for them (even when my human side rears its head and they are royally pissing me off). 

But this still brings me back to that question.... what is romantic love then? How can I see the divine in and love everyone around me but still have a beautiful unique connection with one person?  Does it even exist and will I ever really find it?

I will be honest at this point I have no answers to these questions but I do know that there are certain people who come into my life that I feel a bit of a different type of love for.  I don't want to say I feel more deeply or even that I feel more for these people.  All I can say is there is a different type of connection that I cannot name or place.  Some may call it soul family, or past life connections.  I simply see it as a convergence of energy and we obviously are resonating with each other at this time, and have somethings to teach each other.

Is that a definition of love... I don't know.  All I can do is continue to move forward with an open mind and an open heart, ever loving and continuing to recognize the beauty in everyone I meet.  Will that one person come along who sparks a little something more one day?  I am sure they will, but will it be forever, I won't ever know until forever happens I guess....

But hey these are just one girls thoughts so whose to say we have to wait for forever, maybe just maybe its about living in the moment and the energy of that moment, allowing yourself to let go and just feel without fear of consequence.

I wanted to share that when I had that realization while driving that day a hawk flew right in front of my car just barely missing my windshield.... this held great significance for me and completely reinforced the ideals behind that thought and this post



If you would like more information about Nicole and the services she offers please visit her website at www.intuitivebalance.ca