Grief: Anger

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Do you sometimes have a day where you wake up cranky and things keep happening that make you feel angrier throughout the day.  Do you wonder if it is the events that are causing your emotional response or if your feelings are actually creating the events...

This is very much what the “second” stage of grief feels like.  Your angry but not sure why exactly, you just feel angry.  So you try to pin it on something, you look for a source to blame the anger on, to give it a name or target.

Often when the grief is due to an event that involves another person, like a loved one who has passed on or a lover or spouse at the end of the relationship, we feel angry at that person.  They are the easiest target to be angry at so that is where it tends to go.  We may feel angry at our loved one for leaving us, or angry at ourselves for something we did or said that to that person that we perceive as bad or wrong. 

These feelings are normal, or at least they have been in my experience.  When my mom passed away in 2011 from cancer, I was so angry at her for leaving us and for giving up the fight to stay.  Now, at the same time I was also feeling relief, sadness, gratitude and a myriad of other emotions.  It was anything but straight forward, but there was anger in a very real sense and not just at my mom but at myself as well.  I was angry at myself for not being more, or better for my mom, even though I know in my heart she always saw me as perfect and she always will. 

In times of intense change, like losing a loved one, it is important to reach out to your support group, whether it is friends and family, or a professional that you trust.  I was very lucky in that area as many of my friends practice reiki and do intuitive counselling.  I reached out, had some reiki sessions done and was able to get clear on my emotions and why exactly I was feeling the way I was.

Giving yourself time to honor your feelings is a definite must as well.  Everyone processes and grieves differently and there is no “wrong” way to feel.  It is important to accept what you are feeling as you look to understand the underlying reasons for those feelings.

 Honor yourself, be gentle with yourself and accept yourself with love.  Reach out, talk with friends and family or come into Lasya  Healing Center and see me for a reiki session.  Clarity on your feelings can help you move through those emotions with a perspective that draws positivity to you and your growth.

 

If you would like more information about Nicole and the services she offers please visit her website at www.intuitivebalance.ca  you can also find her on the Lasya Healing website at www.lasyahealing.ca